Stolen Goods
by ThreeBooksInTheFire
Summary: China’s eyebrow rose almost imperceptibly at her, before she answered what the detective had asked. “No, I don’t have a skull lying around.” Pure Crack. Enjoy. Chapter Two: "Phones," is up.
1. Observational

_It was hard finding her house, even harder to keep out of the public eye long enough to get there, but hardest of all was dealing with what he found there…_

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Title: Stolen Goods  
Author: Volital  
Fandom: Skulduggery Pleasant  
Warnings: Rabid OC usage, minor swearing  
Disclaimer: I don't own Skuldugggery Pleasant, Derek Landy does.

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Echo jumped when she heard the knock on the door, she was so involved in her task: She was running late on a cake for some young woman's wedding… Pretty thing, with red hair and green eyes. Heaving the heavy wooden block onto her hip and turning to face the only source of heat in her entire house, she pushed the section of cake into the oven, closed it with a practiced ease, and shouted "Coming!" down the hall. Now who would that be at nearly eleven at night? She yawned, walking down the whitewashed halls to the entrance. Her shoes clacked smartly, echoing- Ha, Echo-ing- down the corridor to the door.

Usually she worked at her shop, but when it came to things that required over-night cooking and the like, she did not sit in her shop all night watching the bread rise, so to speak. Smiling pleasantly, as she forced herself to do when facing customers, she checked her appearance in the shiny glass of a window- her only window. She dusted some icing off her cheek and straightened her lop-sided hair before taking a deep breath and opening the door. "Good Even-"

The baker blinked twice, the sugary smile falling from her lips to melt onto the floor. Her bare lips twitched slightly, and then… "What the hell happened to your head?"

"I lost it." _Some greeting…_

Echo stared for a few more moments. "…That is a _tad_ too appropriate for the situation. You _lost_ your _head_? _Please_ don't tell me you pissed someone off so they decided to keep your skull as a trophy." Her lips twitched again, and she bit them to keep the sound in.

"No, actually. It was stolen."

She giggled, and then burst out laughing.

The set of Skulduggery's shoulders suggested that if he had a skull, it would be glaring at her. As it was, in the middle of the night on her doorstep, he just waited for her to stop.

Echo was laughing so hard she had to lean on the doorframe to keep from falling. It was a couple of minutes before she managed to get out a single word. "S-stolen?!" The absurdity of the situation made her reel backwards slightly, onto hardwood floors.

"Yes. Stolen." Tired of waiting, he stepped past her, looking around her new home with vague interest. At least, that was what he _appeared_ to be doing.

"How can you see?" Echo asked, still a bit out of breath. "How can you _hear_?"

"I'm not sure."

"And yet, you're doing it." Echo seemed content to follow him around her own home, still grinning at the absurdness of the headless detective.

"It appears so."

"…How did you lose it again?"

"It was stolen."

"By who?"

"…Gnomes."

A fresh round of laughter rang down the hall.

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_A/N: It __**was**__ Gnomes, right? Sorry for the OC, but quite frankly, I love her WAY too much, and thus she will be appearing all over the place. ^-^_

_Always did wonder how people took the news of him loosing his head. This will be a bunch of One-Shots, where different characters learn about him leaving parts of himself all over the place... Yes, no? Click that friendly little box down there and tell me what you think!_


	2. Phones

China's eyes widened ever-so-slightly as the person on the phone informed her of what had passed with a certain skeleton. "Echo, please slow down."

Echo had apparently done so, for a moment later China's lips quirked in amusement before her mask of impassivity returned. "Well, where _is_ his skull? Have you started from there? Where did he loose it?"

Tanith, across the room with a book in her lap, looked up. It sounded like they were talking about a dead body. Did this 'Echo' person kill someone?

"I see. Please put Skulduggery on the phone."

…Maybe not. Skulduggery Pleasant was a skeleton, which made it perfectly reasonable that they were talking about a skull- Hey, wait.

They were looking for a skull.

Which meant that Skulduggery Pleasant had _lost_ his skull. Tanith giggled at the genuine weirdness. China's eyebrow rose almost imperceptibly at her, before she answered what the detective had asked. "No, I don't have a skull lying around."

A moment later: "Well, I sold that one. It wasn't preserved properly."

Then, "It was beginning to rot. I do not want my competitors to think that I have sunken so low to cling to a smelly old skull. Besides, why would you want it?"

Tanith blinked several times. "China, you had a _skull_?"

"Please do not waste my time again. Goodbye." The raven-haired beauty hung the phone on it's hook, before turning to Tanith. "Please don't interrupt while I am on the phone," She said loftily, before walking off into the shelves, leaving twelve-year-old Tanith sitting on a stool looked bewilderedly at the phone. What in the world had _that_ been about?

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A/N: _Well, yeah. I had this one coming for a while. Who next? I'm thinking of China telling Mr. Bliss, and then Mr. Bliss somehow getting the news to Serpine... XDD (And as for twelve-year-old Tanith? Alphabet Drabbles are coming soon, so watch for those!)_


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